Be Attractive

A Blessing

Being attractive to girls is very fun.  This is much more than your outward appearance.  Trust me--girls find physical beauty far less important than you do.  I know this with a certainty, because, well, you are a guy.  Let me explain this with a little math...

Girls Attraction Equation = Physical Beauty PLUS Personality PLUS Character PLUS Humor PLUS Confidence

Boys Attraction Equation = Physical Beauty TIMES (Personality PLUS Character PLUS Humor PLUS Confidence)

Think this through for a moment to catch the implications.

Being attractive to other guys can also be fun as this equates to popularity.  Popularity provides you with an opportunity to choose your friends wisely, have a wide spectrum of friends, and walk in and out of other friendship circles with ease.

So therefore, my advice to you is to "Be Attractive".

It's an easy thing to say, isn't it?  But I really mean for you to do this quite literally.  And I assure you that it is within your power to do.  I really wish someone had told me this little secret when I was your age.  So I offer it to you here.

The secret to being attractive to others is self-confidence.  I don't mean acting self-confident, because everyone can see through that right away.  I mean truly exuding self-confidence through every aspect of your character, speech, thoughts, actions, and motives.

• True self-confidence means that others can do or say anything against you and it will just bounce off you.  You won't desire to get them back; you will only have compassion for them.

• True self-confidence means that you can take bold risks in all kinds of areas of life, because failure doesn't impact the value of who you are.

• True self-confidence means that you can stand boldly for what is right and even for things that you just like, because dissenting opinions don't impact your true standing.

• True self-confidence means that you can speak in front of crowds without fear, or cry when you're sad, or act silly when you want, or stretch yourself in numerous ways.

• True self-confidence means that you can make choices that are weird or unpopular just because you believe it to be good.

• True self-confidence is very noticeable and I am convinced that it is the rarest and single most attractive thing in teenage relationships.

The fruit of self confidence goes on and on.

If you are truly understanding what I'm saying, then you are probably thinking that this is just as impossible as my initial directive to "Be Attractive".  But there is a secret to this as well.  This one takes a bit of work to accomplish, but it is achievable, I assure you.

Self confidence is born out of the fullness of understanding your astronomically huge value as a person.  What value do you have?  Obviously it has nothing to do with your economic value, or with how others value you, but with your own moral value, right?

Morally you can be so good that you never doubt your own intrinsic worth to the world and the people around you.  Obviously, this isn't true either.  For though you frequently do good and think purely, you (and we all) are all too well aware of our own faults and failings.  And as soon as we are aware of these, then the house of cards comes crashing down and we are back to square one trying to build up our self esteem again.

And yet, despite the full knowledge of our own moral frailty, we CAN be ever so certain of our inestimable value.  And that proof comes by way of the Cross.  And I don't mean that in a trite way.  But specifically, the Cross reminds us that God reaches down to a frail, broken, sinful, evil world that you and I are fully part of, and tells us that we are worth THAT MUCH to Him. That while we yet have our duplicitous sinful thoughts and actions, He declares us whole and blameless and worthy to be called his child.

The Creator of all wealth, the creator of the universe itself, chose you to be his son.  In Rom 8:15 it says,

 "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship."

God Almighty, the most powerful, glorious, and obviously most valuable person in the universe has declared you valuable.  What other opinion could matter more?

Now let's be practical about this.  When someone says or does something that degrades us, it's easy to see, hear, and feel only that, and want to retaliate or flee.  It takes practice to have confidence in who you TRULY are, so that the words of a mere mortal won't have any more effect on you than the the wind from the wings of a butterfly.  It takes a lot of convincing from God himself to understand the totality of our own value--to combat what we've been taught by the world, the devil, and our sinful flesh.

What does this practice look like?  Hearing the voice of God repeatedly.  I suggest the Bible.  Just about everywhere you open it, you can see this message.  Sure, there are other themes and messages in there too.  And that's great.  But I exhort you to look for God's estimation of your value in every single passage that you read--every time you read it.  I speak from personal experience that this is very effective.

I believed a lot of lies about myself for many years, and I was pretty messed up in the head.  It wasn't until I was about 20 years old that I started seeing this truth in God's Word.  I don't exaggerate when I tell you that for over two years, every single time I prayed I asked for God to show me my worth.   And for two years of near daily personal study of the Bible, I kept searching and searching each passage until I understood how it related to God's estimation of my true value.  Each time I ended my devotional study time I had a glowing peace and sometimes a few tears.

It was a life changing experience for me and I pray that it will be for you as well.  And I pray that it will come more easily to you than it did for me.

So on this auspicious occasion, I pronounce this blessing upon you:

May the mighty force of ten billion butterfly sneezes not move you.

With love while I beg to remain, Sir, your most humble and obedient servant,

Uncle David